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Posts Tagged ‘sleep’

Last night was a bad night. A very bad night. It started out as a good night though. Buddy Bear went to sleep easily (!) and quickly (!!) at 9:15 instead of his usual 10:30 and he seemed to be down for the night. Yes, he was awake every hour and needed help going to sleep again, but that’s pretty normal in our house.

 

And then 1AM rolled around.

 

Buddy Bear woke up again and he was in a foul disposition.

 

He didn’t want to be in his bed. He didn’t want to nurse. And he DEFINITELY did not want to go back to sleep.

It was starting to remind of all those children’s books we read Buddy Bear when he doesn’t want to go to sleep.

This is the cutest book ever. I love it. Except for when Buddy Bear acts like the baby bear.

But when its happening in real life at 1:30 in the morning, its not cute.

 

Eventually after some cajoling by both his daddy and his mommy, Buddy Bear finally went to sleep. At 3AM.

 

And then he decided it was time to start the day at 8:00 this morning.

 

Yes, 5 hours later.

 

And then Mr. Man forgot to make the requested 8 bazillion cups of coffee I requested, instead making just one cup for each of us. I think he is a sucker for punishment. And at this point I think it would be more efficient to just eat the bean then to waste time making a second pot of coffee.

 

Have you ever been in a sleepless situation like this? PLEASE let me know I am not alone! But not that this is what I can expect for the next 18 years. I don’t want to know that.

 

So today, I broke out the big guns.

Garnier Anti-Dark Circle Eye Roller

This is my secret weapon on days when I feel like if the rings under my eyes get much darker, people will start to think Mr. Man is abusing me. (He’s not) It works, its relatively cheap, and I don’t have to fuss around with a colour chart trying to determine what shade I am. (You would not believe how hard it is to find pasty white on a foundation colour chart) I love it, and I use it most everyday.

A little trick I picked up quite by accident is navy-blue eyeliner. By some optical illusion using navy-blue eyeliner makes the whites of your eyes appear more white (and essentially less pink) making you look less tired. Sneaky sneaky.

And the age old trick of napping when your baby naps. This is one of the most popular pieces of parental advice EVER. Because it works.

 

What are your tricks for surviving sleepless nights and exhausted days?

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If I were  to pick one thing that scares me, do you know what I would pick?

EVERYTHING!

No surprise. After all, in the past 8 months of being a mommy, I’ve had quite a few freakouts already. Like this one, or this one

But, those are already old news, as I’ve already discovered new things to freak out about. In fact, I have so many that I made a list. Am I the only one who does that?

 

  1. That I have screwed up as a mother and created a hybrid of all of mine and Mr. Man’s worst qualities. (Needy, opinionated, self-centered…)
  2. Never sleeping again. We’re in the process of stopping changing our co-sleeping arrangement and I am stalling because I remember how hard it was in the very beginning when I was up every 2 hours. I don’t know if I can do that again. Which brings me to…
  3. Having more children. I can hardly keep myself together with just 1 baby, how do people do it when they have more kids?
  4. The discipline and parenting part of being a parent. Until now my main job has been to feed and clothe Buddy Bear, but now I have to help him become a mature and responsible person who loves God and works hard and, and… *freakout* This is hard!
  5. My baby growing up. One day, very soon my baby will not be a baby but a grown up man. He’s already growing up too fast!
  6. His diet of Cheerios. I swear, some days all he eats in the solid food department is Cheerios! Yes, they’re easy to eat on the run but I have a feeling there should be more variation in his diet.
  7. That I won’t be able to love our other children as much as I love my Buddy Bear
  8. That I will never be caught up on the laundry. Seriously, I can work all day on doing laundry and the next day we have a full hamper of dirty laundry. For real?
  9. That my children will discover that my Top-Secret-Super-Delicious-Mom’s-Special-Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies is on the back of the chocolate chip bag…
  10. Discovering that all the time Buddy Bear has spent in proximity to my laptop during our nursing marathons has given him superpowers… What? I never said it was rational!

Am I the only one that has fears like this? Is there anything that you worry about in your current stage of life?

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I love it. Seriously. Being a mommy. Not every second. Sometimes not even every day. But at the end of every day there is always a moment that I can latch onto that makes me say “I love this, being a mommy. I wouldn’t trade it for anything!”

Today the moment was rocking my little Boo to sleep. Sleep has been our nemesis, our project, our prayer for the last 15 months. We’ve spent hours rocking and soothing our little restless one to that place of dreamy, peaceful sleep. If I were to pull out the calculator (this is one of those times that I don’t actually want to know the number), I would probably find I have spent days, weeks, possibly even months of my life working to find sleep. Gently, calmly, mother of sainthood-ly, gritting my teeth so hard my dentist is going to have to replace the back molars, visions of duct tape dancing in my head to keep those beautiful baby blue eyes shut, desperate prayers of “please, just 3 straight hours tonight”, angrily telling a 9 month old “stop it, you have to sleep” (that didn’t help at all).

But yet even after months of “that” rocking my baby to sleep is one of my favorite Mommy Moments.

When those restless legs finally stop churning, her breathing slows down from the excitement of the day to welcome the peace of night, those bright, inquisitive blue eyes start to droop. Once. Twice. POP! Always checking that all is right in the world one last time. Daddy? Bunny? Book? And then that little head nestles down, soft and relaxed. Right over where my mommy heart is tiredly beating out it’s “Mommy loves you” rhythm. Her little hand pats me back for a bit, or searches for a finger to hold one last time. She looks up at me, her eyes trusting and secure. Starting to droop again. Down, up, down even longer, up just a bit and then *sigh* the last bit of struggle against consciousness as her whole body relaxes against me.

I always hold onto that last moment, stroking my face against the top of her soft little head, remembering the tiny baby that became my precocious toddler that will someday be my independant teenager. And every time, my throat gets a little tight. One last kiss on her perfect soft cheek, holding on so tightly but knowing I need to let go.

That’s my mommy moment.

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Do you ever feel like telling someone, “I’m not saying that I’m right, but can you just agree with me?” I feel this all the time! Especially when I’m arguing with Mr. Man, but that’s a whole other story! So, the other day I took Buddy Bear in for his immunizations / well-baby check-up with the public health nurse. Pretty normal for us, the nurse always gives me a slant-eyed look to see if I’m lying about post-partum depression, (I’m not! FYI, if I was depressed I probably would be in bed eating Oreos instead of letting you poke my baby with 3, 3! needles) I rattle off my concern of the week, the nurse says “yes, your baby is normal’ she stabs him in the leg a couple of times, Buddy Bear screams and I cry, end of story.

However, this time the nurse decided to ask me THE Question, the one that I squirm around each and every time I hear it, “So how’s your baby sleeping?” You see the reason this question is so hard for me is because as Buddy Bear has gotten older, his sleeping habits have gotten worse not better. At 2 months of age he was sleeping in his bassinet for 4-6 hours in a stretch, at 4 months he was sleeping in 3 hour segments and half the time he was in our bed, now at 6 months of age he sleeps for about 30 minutes to an hour at a time and he is almost consistently in our bed. Mr. Man and I now drag ourselves around like the walking dead, repeating this conversation on a regular basis:

 

“Did you think parenting would be this exhausting?”

“No, we should try something to help him sleep.”

“Yeah, but I’m too tired to try tonight, we’ll start tomorrow, k?”

 

So, when the nurse asked how Buddy Bear was sleeping I figured I may as well see if she could give us a lead on how to help him (and us) sleep a little better. It went a little like this:

Nurse: “Just let him cry it out”
Andg: “Yeah, we don’t really agree with that approach.”
Nurse: “Well, that’s what you have to do. You better do it now, otherwise he’ll never sleep through the night.”
Andg: “Well, crying it out isn’t good for him and I couldn’t handle hearing my baby, MY BABY! cry for 2 hours and not help him.”
Nurse: “Just put some earphones on so you can’t hear him.”

Grrr… I know that there are lots of ideas and theories on how to get your baby to sleep. I’m not saying that how we have decided to parent Buddy Bear is the only way, but it is what we have decided to do. For goodness sakes, can you just support me?!? *phew* I’ve been holding that in for awhile.

I think that is one of my greatest needs as a mommy, for someone(s) to come alongside me and say, “Yeah, I hear what you’re saying. You’re doing the best you can with what you have.” Not “Let me cram my ideology and theories down your throat.” Or even better “Let’s walk together as we figure out what works best for YOU and YOUR family.”

This is part of why Penny and I love being a part of And Me, Mommy because its a place where we can get together with other mommies and mommy-type people and say to each other “You can do this, we can help.”

What do you feel is one of your greatest needs as a mommy?

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