Posts Tagged ‘fears’

If I were  to pick one thing that scares me, do you know what I would pick?


No surprise. After all, in the past 8 months of being a mommy, I’ve had quite a few freakouts already. Like this one, or this one

But, those are already old news, as I’ve already discovered new things to freak out about. In fact, I have so many that I made a list. Am I the only one who does that?


  1. That I have screwed up as a mother and created a hybrid of all of mine and Mr. Man’s worst qualities. (Needy, opinionated, self-centered…)
  2. Never sleeping again. We’re in the process of stopping changing our co-sleeping arrangement and I am stalling because I remember how hard it was in the very beginning when I was up every 2 hours. I don’t know if I can do that again. Which brings me to…
  3. Having more children. I can hardly keep myself together with just 1 baby, how do people do it when they have more kids?
  4. The discipline and parenting part of being a parent. Until now my main job has been to feed and clothe Buddy Bear, but now I have to help him become a mature and responsible person who loves God and works hard and, and… *freakout* This is hard!
  5. My baby growing up. One day, very soon my baby will not be a baby but a grown up man. He’s already growing up too fast!
  6. His diet of Cheerios. I swear, some days all he eats in the solid food department is Cheerios! Yes, they’re easy to eat on the run but I have a feeling there should be more variation in his diet.
  7. That I won’t be able to love our other children as much as I love my Buddy Bear
  8. That I will never be caught up on the laundry. Seriously, I can work all day on doing laundry and the next day we have a full hamper of dirty laundry. For real?
  9. That my children will discover that my Top-Secret-Super-Delicious-Mom’s-Special-Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies is on the back of the chocolate chip bag…
  10. Discovering that all the time Buddy Bear has spent in proximity to my laptop during our nursing marathons has given him superpowers… What? I never said it was rational!

Am I the only one that has fears like this? Is there anything that you worry about in your current stage of life?


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34.5… 36.4… 37.3… 37.4… 37.6… 37.8…

If you’ve ever taken a baby’s temperature with a thermometer you know that dreadful feeling as you hold the thermometer in place (usually with a very squirmy, sometimes fussy baby) and watch the numbers continue to rise. This was where I was last night.

Buddy Bear woke me up last night at 4am, so I semi-consciously reached to pull him in to nurse (and go back to sleep quite honestly) but as my hand touched his feverish skin I was instantly awake and in panic mode. My baby was burning up! I jostled Mr. Man to wake up and get the thermometer as I held our precious little boy. As I sat on the bathroom floor trying to hold Buddy Bear still enough to take his temperature, my mind raced with all kinds of fearful thoughts.

Why was he sick?

At what temperature does brain damage happen?

Do I give him Tylenol?

Do I let nature and his body do its thing and fight the fever without drugs?


Oh, no! His temperature is still rising! How come its still rising?

Why is it so hard to measure out baby Tylenol? This stuff should be easy to administer! Don’t they realize what kind of nutjobs will be using this? Crazy parents at 4 in the morning do not need to mess around with bubble in their medicine droppers!


As I sat with Buddy Bear on the bathroom floor and tried to get him to nurse, I flipped through my mental catalogue of The Stuff I Read Once on the Internet. Was he teething? What was it that that one blogger did when their baby was teething? You would think for all the things I read in a day, I would be able to recall something useful when I need it. But no.

But that’s why they invented Google, right?

Sometimes I wonder how people were parents before the internet. Or maybe they were better parents because they had to rely on their parental intuition and their community when their babies were down for the count, instead of the all-knowing but completely uninvolved internet…

Holding my fussy little boy I snuck back into the bedroom and jacked Mr. Man’s iPhone. If I couldn’t figure out what to do, at least I could look it up and go from there. (Yes, I was also hoping that Buddy Bear’s crying would wake Mr. Man up. If I was panicking, we could at least panic together!) Babycenter advised that a baby’s temperature naturally rose at night and gave me some numbers that I can not find now regarding when a baby technically had a fever (which were higher than the numbers our public health told me FYI). I took Buddy Bear’s temperature again, and while it was still high it was lower than it had been when he first woke up, so I tucked  him back into bed with me and decided some sleep and mommy cuddles were necessary to help him feel better.


Am I the only one who freaks out about everything in the middle of the night? What makes you panic as a Mommy? Let’s talk about it!

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